Hong Kong News

Nonpartisan, Noncommercial, unconstrained.
Friday, Apr 26, 2024

Chinese single ladies learning to love the solo lifestyle

Chinese single ladies learning to love the solo lifestyle

Rising numbers of younger Chinese are shunning the social pressure to marry, mirroring trends in other countries

Only one thing occupies Shanghai piano teacher Mary Zhu’s attention on social media: cats.

She rents a two-bedroom flat in an older area of Shanghai that used to be part of the French concession, and lives alone with her two cats.

“Before I had cats, I would imagine raising them after I got married,” she said. “But then when I had my own, I thought what’s the point of even getting married?”

The 32-year-old lives a simple but fulfilling life and when she is not teaching at her studio, she spends her time with friends, exploring the city or at home with her cats.


Piano teacher Mary Zhu with one of her pet cats.


In a country where conformity and traditional family values have always been highly prized, Zhu’s solo lifestyle is still considered unconventional.

However, it has been on the rise in recent years among younger Chinese, where the number of “self-partnered” people – as the Harry Potter star Emma Watson described herself last year – has been on the rise.

According to the China Statistical Yearbook 2019, there were an estimated 210 million people above the age of 15 who had never married as of December 2018.

The latest data from the Civil Affairs Bureau shows that the marriage rate in China has been falling since 2013. Last year 9.2 million marriages were registered, a drop of 8.5 per cent compared with the previous year.

Meanwhile, economic data points to the rise in the “solo economy”, with rising sales for products such as meals for one, single plane and air tickets and even the use of one-person karaoke booths, mirroring trends seen in other countries.

Some Chinese singletons say they want to focus on their self-worth, rather than someone else’s.


China’s marriage rates have been falling over the past seven years.


Zhang Jiaqi, a marketing director for a Beijing restaurant, has been living by herself since 2013 after splitting up with her boyfriend.

They had been together for two and half years, including a year she spent waiting for him at home and preparing his dinner while he went out to work in Shanghai.

She said she decided to split up with him when he got a new job in Japan and asked her to move abroad with him.

“I felt I had lost myself, my life’s values,” she said, adding that she had realised that she could not be a “man’s accessory”.

“When we broke up, he told me he had loved the way we lived, he couldn’t bear to part, but what he enjoyed was what I hated the most,” she said. “It was a cage and I had locked myself inside.”

Since returning to Beijing and resuming her career, she feels more fulfilled with her life and spends her leisure time socialising with friends, visiting museums, drawing or playing with her cats.

Zhang says she is still open to a relationship, but says she values her sense of self-worth more than love.

Zhu, the piano teacher, also said she wouldn’t rule out getting married if she met the right person, but adds: “Marriage isn’t as easy as many claim it to be … it requires you to sacrifice a lot of personal freedoms.”

The rising number of Chinese singles mirror trends seen in other countries as birth rates slump and the average age when people get married rises.

But the number of unmarried people is still relatively small, even compared with other Asian countries where people face similar social pressures to marry, according to Hou Hongbin, a Guangzhou-based feminist writer.


Some singles prefer to share their home with cats.


In 2015, 90 per cent of men and 77 per cent of women aged 25 to 29 in South Korea were unmarried, according to a report in The Korea Herald. Among those aged 30 to 34, the figure was 56 per cent, and 33 per cent for 40- to 45-year-olds.

Hou said one of the main reasons for the fall in China’s marriage rate was the skewed sex ratio that resulted from the strict controls on the number of children families were allowed to have and the traditional preference for sons.

But she also argued that women have more choices today.

“No woman would dare publicly say they wouldn’t get married back in the old days,” she said. “Now frequently you hear that. Even though not everyone that says so will follow through, they’re setting an example.”

Some women are even saving up or buying a house just so they could have the option of not marrying, she said.

But beyond making financial preparations, women must still be ready to cope with the pressure of living what is still seen as an unconventional lifestyle.

Viola Zeng, from Shenzhen, said she has been “educating” her parents over the past few years by using the example of family friends who got divorced or had marital problems to show them that living alone is better than being with someone for the wrong reasons.

“No matter whether you are single, married, or in a relationship, we should be able to do whatever that makes us happy,” she said. “We should not be judged by others’ values.”

Newsletter

Related Articles

Hong Kong News
0:00
0:00
Close
It's always the people with the dirty hands pointing their fingers
Paper straws found to contain long-lasting and potentially toxic chemicals - study
FTX's Bankman-Fried headed for jail after judge revokes bail
Blackrock gets half a trillion dollar deal to rebuild Ukraine
Steve Jobs' Son Launches Venture Capital Firm With $200 Million For Cancer Treatments
Google reshuffles Assistant unit, lays off some staffers, to 'supercharge' products with A.I.
End of Viagra? FDA approved a gel against erectile dysfunction
UK sanctions Russians judges over dual British national Kara-Murza's trial
US restricts visa-free travel for Hungarian passport holders because of security concerns
America's First New Nuclear Reactor in Nearly Seven Years Begins Operations
Southeast Asia moves closer to economic unity with new regional payments system
Political leader from South Africa, Julius Malema, led violent racist chants at a massive rally on Saturday
Today Hunter Biden’s best friend and business associate, Devon Archer, testified that Joe Biden met in Georgetown with Russian Moscow Mayor's Wife Yelena Baturina who later paid Hunter Biden $3.5 million in so called “consulting fees”
'I am not your servant': IndiGo crew member, passenger get into row over airline meal
Singapore Carries Out First Execution of a Woman in Two Decades Amid Capital Punishment Debate
Spanish Citizenship Granted to Iranian chess player who removed hijab
US Senate Republican Mitch McConnell freezes up, leaves press conference
Speaker McCarthy says the United States House of Representatives is getting ready to impeach Joe Biden.
San Francisco car crash
This camera man is a genius
3D ad in front of Burj Khalifa
Next level gaming
BMW driver…
Google testing journalism AI. We are doing it already 2 years, and without Google biased propoganda and manipulated censorship
Unlike illegal imigrants coming by boats - US Citizens Will Need Visa To Travel To Europe in 2024
Musk announces Twitter name and logo change to X.com
The politician and the journalist lost control and started fighting on live broadcast.
The future of sports
Unveiling the Black Hole: The Mysterious Fate of EU's Aid to Ukraine
Farewell to a Music Titan: Tony Bennett, Renowned Jazz and Pop Vocalist, Passes Away at 96
Alarming Behavior Among Florida's Sharks Raises Concerns Over Possible Cocaine Exposure
Transgender Exclusion in Miss Italy Stirs Controversy Amidst Changing Global Beauty Pageant Landscape
Joe Biden admitted, in his own words, that he delivered what he promised in exchange for the $10 million bribe he received from the Ukraine Oil Company.
TikTok Takes On Spotify And Apple, Launches Own Music Service
Global Trend: Using Anti-Fake News Laws as Censorship Tools - A Deep Dive into Tunisia's Scenario
Arresting Putin During South African Visit Would Equate to War Declaration, Asserts President Ramaphosa
Hacktivist Collective Anonymous Launches 'Project Disclosure' to Unearth Information on UFOs and ETIs
Typo sends millions of US military emails to Russian ally Mali
Server Arrested For Theft After Refusing To Pay A Table's $100 Restaurant Bill When They Dined & Dashed
The Changing Face of Europe: How Mass Migration is Reshaping the Political Landscape
China Urges EU to Clarify Strategic Partnership Amid Trade Tensions
The Last Pour: Anchor Brewing, America's Pioneer Craft Brewer, Closes After 127 Years
Democracy not: EU's Digital Commissioner Considers Shutting Down Social Media Platforms Amid Social Unrest
Sarah Silverman and Renowned Authors Lodge Copyright Infringement Case Against OpenAI and Meta
Why Do Tech Executives Support Kennedy Jr.?
The New York Times Announces Closure of its Sports Section in Favor of The Athletic
BBC Anchor Huw Edwards Hospitalized Amid Child Sex Abuse Allegations, Family Confirms
Florida Attorney General requests Meta CEO's testimony on company's platforms' alleged facilitation of illicit activities
The Distorted Mirror of actual approval ratings: Examining the True Threat to Democracy Beyond the Persona of Putin
40,000 child slaves in Congo are forced to work in cobalt mines so we can drive electric cars.
×